After eating literally NOTHING for a week, it is completely normal for you to become constipated, so it is only natural when you eat even the minimal calories (25) one day, you will bloat. The thing is when i get sucked into the rapid negative thinking, you don't think logic, you just sit on the floor crying and rocking and punching yourself, just screaming-yelling, anything to get your concave stomach back.
When your in this state anorexia has completely taken over. She creeps in and tells you, the toilet is right beside you, she nudges you to kneel over and shove two magic fingers down your throat. You cough, splutter and gag, tears burning your eyes, you repeat and repeat until only water and blood is coming out. Nothing has been picked, because nothing was in your stomach to start with. You are just oblivious to this. you thing you have eaten the whole world for all you know better, you did.
Your parents hear your screams and burst in, clutching their hearts, thinking the worst, thinking that the night has taken you over for good.
This is the truth, no sugar coating. Anorexia is deadly, it is much deeper than the cliche of 'THIN'. I have been told by so many, i am selfish, Anorexia is pathetic, JUST EAT.
But i am drowning in my own sea, i would gladly reach out to a life boat, but the thing is its my sea, and the lifeboat doesn't exist.
